Am I back?

You know, I haven’t written or posted anything on this blog for months.  Why?  Lots of reasons, really.  I was traveling for the holidays.  I was working on school stuff.  I was working on work, and also making a significant effort to spend more time with real-life people than with computers and online social networking. 

As illustrated by this hiatus and the infrequency of my posting, I may not be all that dedicated to my blog.  But!  I think that is okay.  It is almost like the belated birthday card I sent to my father once.  It adorned an illustration of a coyote, standing upright and dressed in summer apparel.  The card said something like:

“You may think I forgot your birthday.  I didn’t actually forget your birthday.  It just so happens that my name is Coyote.  I am wild.  I am free.  I send birthday cards whenever I feel like it.  So…Happy Birthday.  Love, Coyote.”

This is not only a good example of how I approach birthday greetings…but it can also represent my attitude towards the world of blogging.  I thought I would explain, in case you were interested.  With that, however, I am finally ready interrupt this long hiatus!  And what better way to start, than with a quote from my most quotable friend Jose!  This will be his second cameo here.  Here goes:

“Ah, Balerie.  You look rested and refreshed like a flower.”

He lowers his head and continues, “And I…I am tired.  Like a potato.”

And that is Jose.

Flight of the Conchords

Curtosy of my sister’s lovely sense of humor…here is something I stumbled upon over my Thanksgiving break.  Hope you enjoy.

and

Hilarious!

Martha Stewart Thanksgiving?

Here is a photo of some grand Thanksgiving ideas from the former jail bird.

 

What?  Stickley balls that have fallen from tress, adnorned with ribbon and used as place holders. 

In my household such things would be found stragetically placed on chair cushions awaiting their next victim.  That’s how we roll in my family.  Happy Thanksgiving!

Should I date a delivery truck driver?

Ha! Just kidding.  I am going to get some new material.  Promise!

Negligence

I will write something soon.  Maybe.  I felt it was important to work on my negligence skills.  A few more days and I will master them.

And maybe in a few more days something worth writing about will pop into my head.  I hope so. 

Deepest Post of all Time

I went to Chicago a few weeks ago and a minor thing happened.  Minor as it may be, this experience immediately sent me down memory lane. 

I was perusing in a music store.  This particular store for whatever strange reason, had a candy aisle.  I quickly thought, “Candy aisle…lame…moving on.”  But!  Suddenly, something caught my eye.  It was like a magical moment when crowds part, so I could see this wonderful item from my past I was clearly meant to see.  I am sure you are about to guess what wonderful goodness was about to re-enter my life.

Like everyone there are things about my childhood which are worth remembering and certain things worth forgetting.  Mambas are certainly one of the memorable sweet pieces (ha, sweet pieces) of childhood.  I can’t believe I had forgotten.  I had let them slip away.  After years of choosing these, better-than-Starbursts candy at the movie theater, I had brushed them aside like an old pair of shoes that eventually gets donated to Good Will.  I was so ashamed when I recognized my forgetfulness to something that once meant so much.  No matter what else happened, Mambas were there for me at the old Hilcrest Movie Theater.  They were my sweet beacons of hope!

 Mambas offer a tremendous amount of joy to the world of candy.  They come in a variety of flavors with a soft texture that is easy on the gums.  The flavors are subtle, yet distinct.  What more, each flavor category is wrapped in its own packaging.  This is helpful in a dark movie theater when a sibiling is interested in candy-swapping.  It is unbelievably easy to “inadvertently” give that pestering kid ALL the lemon candies in one quick trade. 

Such a discovery on a rainy day in Chicago will forever change me.  Who knew perusing in music stores could not only produce severe nostalgia, but also a new addiction for mail-order candy?

Ghosts of Halloween Past

Ahh…my favorite holiday is on the horizon (actually it is far from my favorite).  On such a day you are as an adult given permission to indulge in childish things.  Like playing dress up and begging for candy.  I decided to forgo festivities this year.  Yet, I stumbled upon visual proof of years past when I was not such a stick in the mud.  I hope you enjoy this small form of humiliation I am about to expose myself to.  It could be worth a laugh.

Me sporting a hand-made poodle skirt.  I could swing and drink milkshakes with the best of them.

Have you ever heard it is better to give than to receive?  I propose it is better to BE a gift, in the literal sense of course!  Especially one adorned in Care Bear wrapping paper!

This particular year my sister and I decided to pick-pocket candy instead of the traditional “trick-or-treat begging” method.

My version of Moe had three chins and no neck

And finally my all-time favorite costume.  Who doesn’t want to be chubby chocolately goodness, named after a delicate form of affection?

The Essence of Time

Last night I was sitting in my Advanced Human Growth and Development class awaiting the arrival of our professor.  I was surprised when five minutes before class a tall, light-haired, middle-aged man walked into the room, with a noticable spring in his step.  The typical instructor of this class is a very kind woman, who in recent weeks hobbles into the room with a cast/boot covering her entire right foot.  You know what this means?  Guest Speaker!!!!

Everyone loves a guest speaker.  Okay, maybe I shouldn’t speak for everyone.  I (!) love a guest speaker.  If nothing else, they simply add a little variety to the garden style class experience.  Once our new friend entered into the room I quickly looked at the course syllabus to determine what the topic was for the evening.  A quick glance revealed…yes!  Issues of homosexuality and transgendered individuals. 

About thirty seconds after I discovered the session topic, and about one minute after the professor “sprung” into the classroom, I knew I would enjoy the entire evening. 

At 4:30pm, the tall man promptly introduces himself.  “Good evening, my name is Todd.  I am a good friend of your teacher Dr. Quinn, who asked me to speak as an expert on tonight’s topics.”

The class listens while he continues, “I am a gay man.  And before we begin anything else I would like to teach you all about the four different kinds of time.  Is anyone familar with the four different types of time?”

I look around to notice I was in good company, for none of my other classmates knew what the heck he was talking about

Todd goes on energetically, “The four types of time are as follows.  There is straight time, gay time, drag time, and diva time.  What do you suppose the differences in these types of time are, class?”

Once again, blank stares around the room.

“Straight time is real time, or being on time.  Gay time is fifteen minutes late, and drag time is thirty minutes late.  And diva time!  Diva time is showing up whenever the hell you GD feel like it because you KNOW the party will be waiting for you!”

 Yes, the entire rest of the evening followed this general tone.  Like I said, I LOVE guest speakers.

Chicago!

Friends, today I am heading to Chicago.  I have heard they don’t have internet access there, so I will be peacing out for a few days.  Not that I write often or anything but just in case you are wondering where I went, I will be off mingling with these folks on Navy Pier.

I think it will be fun.  I mean I don’t really know the folks in the photograph and I am not sure they will still be wandering around on Navy Pier.  That one dude is probably off at his graduation party by now.  Anyway, I would like to make some new friends so it is worth a try.  If they don’t talk to me I will just hang out with my family.  They usually talk to me.  However, only when I am not in one of my sarcastic moods.  We shall see!  I could be in for a lonely weekend…

Halloween and Tacos

This may be premature, but halloween in coming up soon.  I don’t normally care much about Halloween or even about dressing up.  Last year however, some friends of mine all took singleness in stride and lived it up.  Here is what we came up with:

Funny, huh?  I am the nun with the gun.

So, I am trying to decide if I should come up with a costume this year.  I have a couple of ideas based on what I have always aspired to be.  Like…

Or…

Or perhaps something I like to eat, such as…

Another favorite…

Most likely I will give up and sit at home, eating candy corn, wearing something like this…

What do you think?  Any ideas?